


How would you feel

by little_ruby



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Hook is only mentioned, he isn't really in this story, this is swan queen all the way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 12:50:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11208441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_ruby/pseuds/little_ruby
Summary: The evening before the wedding Emma Swan realizes something. An so does Regina Mills.





	How would you feel

**Author's Note:**

> this story was inspired by a post in a swan queen facebook page:  
> https://www.facebook.com/groups/105211466276060/permalink/1009690799161451/  
> I hope you can see it.  
> for those who can't. there is a pic in which Regina is standing with her back to the wall and Emma only inches away from her. (kudos and credits to the creator of that pic) the one who posted the pic in that group used the line "How would you feel if I told you I love you" whih is a song by Ed Sheeran.  
> thanks to my awesome beta scribblenubbin

**How would you feel**

Almost every fairytale begins with “Once upon a time”, but this fairytale is different. It is now, not once; it is also not quite your traditional happy fairytale, because in this story, there are no teenage princesses (okay, there is ONE teenage prince, but he is quite charming) going on the adventure of their lives and finding their true love and making everyone around them happy. No, in this story there are adults just trying to live their lives with every curveball thrown at them.

There is Emma Swan, Princess Emma, the Savior, the Sheriff, mother of Henry, daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, fiancée of Killian Jones, Captain Hook himself. She is trying her best to please everyone, to be the person everyone seems to need her to be, even though by doing that, she is slowly losing herself in all of the expectations thrown at her.

And then we have Regina Mills, former Evil Queen, mayor of Storybrooke (where our fairytale is taking place), mother of Henry, daughter of the Queen of Hearts, Cora and her gentle husband Henry. She has finally accepted herself for who she is; good, bad, sometimes a hero, sometimes still a bit evil. Because if she has learned one thing in her life, especially since a certain blonde has made an appearance, no one is just good. And that even includes Snow White. Everyone has a dark side and Regina can finally accept her own dark side without fearing that the people she loves and who lover her, especially her son, will leave her because of it. 

At this very moment in time, Emma and Regina are cleaning up Regina’s house after a successful bachelorette party for Emma. Zelena and Belle had taken it on themselves to get a very drunk Snow White back to her Prince Charming and their little baby boy. But this story isn’t about them. It is about Regina and Emma, trying to live their lives. So join me in having a look at these two women.

 

“Emma, you really do not need to help me. This party was for you. You should enjoy tonight. Your last evening before your big wedding tomorrow.”

Regina was picking up glasses and carrying them into her kitchen so she could wash them later. She could of course put them in her dishwasher, but you see, my dear readers, she needed to do something, physically do something to distract herself. From what you ask? Well, you have to read on.

Instead of answering, Emma just kept on moving furniture in the right place again, which was getting a bit complicated as she attempted to move the couch on her own. She placed her hands under one side of it and tried to lift it a bit to the right, so as to not ruin Regina’s floor with scratches. But of course she underestimated how heavy the couch would be. So as she lifted it, pain shot through her back and she let out a strangled cry, letting the bit of the couch she had gotten of the floor fall down and crumbling to her knees while holding her back.

Regina came running back into the living room in a panic, eyes searching for the blonde woman and hurrying over as soon as she spotted her on the floor. 

“Emma!! What happened? Are you hurt?”

“I tried lifting the couch…” Emma tried to catch enough breath to talk, but the pain was too much.

“Is it your back? Hold still, I will see what I can do.” Regina moved her hands slowly up and down Emma’s back, a light purple mist accompanying her movements. When Emma slumped forwards and let out a sigh, Regina stopped her magic and just laid her hands on Emma’s back.

“Are you feeling better? Is the pain gone?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Good. Then now I can yell at you. What the hell were you thinking, Miss Swan? Trying to lift this damn couch all by yourself and getting injured on the night before your wedding! Do you know what your mother would have done to me if I hadn’t been able to heal you? I thought you had grown out of being an idiot!”

“I was just trying to help.” Her voice was just barely above a whisper and there were tears streaming down her face. “I just needed a reason so I could stay here longer.”

Regina was stunned. She sat back on her legs and looked at the blonde. “You know that you are always welcome here. You can always stay as long as you want, Emma. You don’t need a specific reason to be here.”

“Don’t I?” Emma looked up and into brown eyes which held so many emotions in them that she had a hard time reading them all. “Because these last days I have had the feeling that you don’t care about me anymore. Regina, this is the first time in who knows how long that you looked me straight in the eyes. Ever since the engagement you have been tense as soon as we’re in the same room. Your smiles are forced and you won’t talk to me.”

While speaking, Emma had sat back and turned around so that she was now facing the brunette woman.

“What is going on with you, Regina? Why won’t you talk to me?”

Regina averted her eyes, she didn’t want Emma to see all her emotions. Because Emma could just do that. Look in her eyes and see everything she was feeling. That is why she had looked away these last days. She couldn’t let Emma know what she was feeling. About the engagement, about her. She loathed the one hand wonder also known as Captain Hook, she loathed the fact that he was with Emma, that he had her love and that he got the chance to ask her to marry him. That is the reason why she wanted to clean up by herself. To be distracted by manual labour. She needed to forget about what Emma meant to her. 

She got up and turned around, so that she didn’t have to see Emma, so that she could discreetly wipe away a few traitorous tears that had the audacity to gather in her eyes, to pull herself together.

“I don’t know what you mean, Miss Swan. Everything is fine. I am happy for you and your True Love.”

“Bullshit!” Emma jumped to her feet, put her hands on Regina’s shoulders and turned her around, trying to be not too forceful. 

“This is not how you look when you're happy, Regina. When I told you about the engagement, everything about your reaction was forced. You hugged me for God’s sake. We never hugged before. Never! I’m pretty sure you only did that so I couldn’t see your face, so I couldn’t read in your eyes what you really feel.”

Emma had pushed Regina unconsciously toward the nearest wall, where she more or less trapped the brunette whose eyes were wide in surprise at this outburst.

“Miss Swan! What the hell do you think you are doing? Let go of me!”

Lowering her eyes and her arms, Emma sighed. She had an idea what was going on with her friend, the same thing that was going on with her. All this time she had wanted Regina to stop her. Stop the engagement, stop her being a fool who tries to please everyone. She wanted to blame her, but she also knew that the blame lay only with herself. She made the decision to say yes to Killian. And for the life of God she just couldn’t understand what had happened to her and her life.

“Regina…” Her voice low, almost a whisper. “ I...just want to know how you really feel.” She looked up into brown eyes that were trying to convey anger, but she could see sadness in there too.

“How would you feel if I told you I love you?”

The brunette woman shook her head. “What are you talking about, Emma? You are engaged, you will be marrying Hook tomorrow. This is ridiculous.”

She tried getting out from between Emma and the wall, but the blonde woman took her hands in hers and brought them to their chests.

“This is not some cooked up idea I’m having to get out of marrying Killian. I don’t have cold feet. For the first time in I don’t know how long I finally think clearly.”

Regina tried to dissuade her from continuing, but Emma put her finger on her lips to get her to stay silent.

“No, Regina, please, I need to say this. These last months, maybe even years, I haven’t been myself. I tried to be who everyone wanted, needed me to be. The Savior, the daughter with her True Love, the mother who is a hero and who can’t do anything wrong. Everyone has expectations. And I tried to please them. The people in this town, my parents, Killian. Even Henry. I tried so hard that I lost myself. But you know what? You were always by my side with no expectations at all. You were just my best friend trying to help me, trying to make me see what I couldn’t. That I lied to myself. That I lied to everyone. I don’t love Killian, I never have. I like him, yes, but there was never love. Not really. How could I when I was already in love with you? I love you, Regina. I always have and I always will. And no matter what you feel or do or think right now, I will end things with Killian and I will tell my parents to butt the fuck out of my love life and take several steps back so I can breathe again.”

Emma put a finger under Regina’s chin and lifted her face so she could look in her eyes. Tears were falling down the brunette’s face, making her look so young and vulnerable. She wiped away the tears with gentle fingers, ghosting over Regina’s face, her eyes, her cheeks and finally, soft as a feather, her trembling lips.

“Is this true? Is this really how you feel, Emma?”

Instead of answering Emma inched closer and closer to Regina, watching for a sign that the other woman didn’t want this. When she doesn’t make a move to pull away, Emma closes the last gap and kisses Regina lightly.

What Emma didn’t see coming was Regina breaking out in sobs after kissing her. She had, of course, hoped she would see a smile and her feelings mirrored in the other woman’s eyes. But right now she has a crying Regina in her arms and for a second she doesn’t know what to do. After that second she moves her arms around Regina’s body and hugs her with all her might, whispering soothing words laced with a lot of ‘I love you’ in her ear. 

When Regina had stopped crying, she pulled out of Emma’s hug, took a deep breath and finally dared to look into Emma’s eyes.

“I am sorry. I just….I never thought I would hear you say those things.” Taking Emma’s hands in hers, she continues. “I love you, Emma Swan. So much even that I would have let you marry that damn pirate if it meant your happiness. Because that is all I ever wanted for you.”

“You are my happiness, Regina. It has always been you. I was just too afraid to see it. But not anymore. I want you, no, I need you. You and Henry are my family.”

And for the first time that evening, Regina Mills smiled. Not that forced ‘I am the mayor’ smile. No, the real one that lights up her whole face. And despite being normally the refined and composed one when in the same room with Emma Swan, she surges forward and captures the blonde’s lips in a searing kiss.

And here, my dear readers, our fairytale ends. (Yes, yes, this is a happy ending. I never said otherwise. Just that these are adult people with adult problems. Not some 15 year old princess not knowing what to wear to the ball.) Regina and Emma have still a lot of obstacles in their way before their life together can really begin. But for now, this story ends and you can hopefully fall asleep with a little smile on your face.


End file.
